Using Technology to Keep in Touch

Family separations are never easy. Unfortunately, they are a regular part of military life. Be it deployment related or living 3 time zones away from the closest relative, military kids know the heart ache of long distance relationships.

In the recent years, technology has made many gains that military families greatly benefit from. Here are a few ways you, your little ones and your loved ones can keep in touch using these new advances:

1. Skype and FaceTime:

My favorite use of Skype was watching a Dad participate in a KinderJam birthday party while on deployment in Afghanastan.  Thanks to his wife's iPhone 4, he could watch his little girl Tooty-Ta and she could hand clap while he Woo-Hoo-ed.

Bringing a wifi accessible tablet like an iPad to KinderJam classes, the dinner table or even the first day of school, will allow grandparents and other relatives to meaningfully participate in the lives of your children.

Some go-to Skype conversations we commonly use in our house are: 

A) What was your favorite part of the day?

B) A game called, "I'm thinking of an animal." One person thinks of an animal and everyone  
     else has to guess.

C) How big is the plant? One family planted seeds the day Mommy deployed.  During
     FaceTime conversations, the children showed mom how big the plant was getting while
     she was gone. That way, the kids always had something to talk about with Mom.

2.Video Emails

Because of strenuous work schedules and varying time differences, we can't always Skype when Dad is away. When this happens, I take short messages of the kids during daily activities or special events and email them to our service member. He sends us messages just to say hi and has a special message for each kid (and me).

3. DrawSomething and other drawing apps

My kids love to Play DrawSomething with their aunt. My oldest really tries to guess and create pictures with accuracy. My youngest just likes to make circles. Either way, my sister loves playing and seeing what the kids do. And we all huddle around the iPad to see what she draws.

There are other drawing apps like Doodle Buddy, that allow you to email your drawings to others and apps that let you decorate and email family pictures like Disney's Totally Tangled. 

4. Pre deployment videos:

These are nothing new. Videos of parents reading books before leaving home are a staple of pre deployment preparedness. With recent advances in built in cameras, personal videos are easy to record on a laptop, smartphone or tablet. 

Because of its recent incline in popularity, the video message isn't just for deploying active duty anymore.  One mother recorded grandparents blowing kisses to her baby.  She showed baby the messages over and over and when they were reunited, mother reported that her little one did not show the stranger anxiety that is common for one year olds around new adults.

5.  Record-your-voice toys:

Personalized dolls and toys are more accessible now as well. Hallmark carries recordable books that allow people to record themselves reading.  The book plays the recording as the child turns the page and the reader can add personal messages to the child.

You can also order a personalized BuildABear using a "say it with sound" chip.  These chips can even be ordered over the internet. The person making the recording just needs to call in the special message.

These recent advances in technology have been nothing short of a miracle for the separated family.  Creating strong bonds with the important adults in a child's life is curial for later development in self esteem, social emotional well being and academic success.  For the child, keeping in touch with family members brings a smile to their face and memories in their hearts.  And that deserves a big Woo-Hoo!http://imgur.com/gallery/PjtBd

Play, Learning and Intentionality

Play is the fundamental way children learn, but it is not automatic.  Play itself is learned.  Young children observe others, such as siblings, neighbors or classmates. In the absence of playmates, children rely on adults for opportunities to interact with the world.  This observation, made by Deborah Leong, professor of Emertia of Psychology at Metropolitan State College in Denver,  is illustrated when a younger sibling attempts skills the older sibling just acquired.  Similarly, the parent who reports, “He doesn’t really know how to play with other kids.  He spends most of his time with us.”

So now that you know your child has his little scientist glasses on, observing you and others around him, making sense of the world and how to interact in it, how will you fill your day?  What opportunities for learning will you introduce in your child’s play?

Of course, many sources discuss “teachable moments.”  These are the times when your child is quiet and interested in what you have to say.  When you can pour knowledge directly onto your little one’s sponge of a brain.  Moments like these are found at the grocery store when a child asks, “Where does milk come from?” and you can actually answer him because he is sitting in the cart, attending to your every word. 

But you can’t count on teachable moments to appear out of no where.  What if they never come? What if I’m changing the baby’s diaper the moment my daughter wants to discuss quantum physics?  As parents, we must plan for teachable moments.  The National Association of the Education of Young Children refers to intentionality as the processes in which the teacher sets up her environment, curriculum, schedule and playtime with the intentions of instructing a particular topic.

When using intentionality in your parenting, children will of course take the lessons beyond what you had planned. That is the marvel of the creative mind.  An example of intentionality is when a parent takes her child to KinderJam.  You intend that the KJ class will include letters and numbers in an exciting way.  You are prepared to help your child count the 5 monkeys on his finger and to search letters on a letter mat.  The teachable moment  is when, for the first time, your child finds the letter G and says, “G is for Grandma.” You will be there to add, “That’s right! G has 2 sounds.  G in Grandma and G in Giraffe.  Do you remember going to the zoo and seeing a giraffe with Grandma?”  

Always remember that you are your child’s first and best teacher.  The bond you have with your little one qualifies you in a unique way to customize every learning opportunity just for her.  Treat playtime as learning time and have as much of it as possible!  

Use Kinesthetic Learning to Improve Behavior

Is your young child a kinesthetic learner? If he learns by doing, then the answer is yes.  Have you ever considered utilizing this learning method when your child misbehaves?

Here are some examples:

Listening

Instead of saying, “Listen to me,” tell your child to “turn your listening ears on” and motion for her to touch her ears and pretend to turn a volume dial up.  If you need to redirect her again, consider handing her pretend batteries, or pull invisible listening ears out of your pocket and tell her, “your listening ears need an upgrade.”

Whining

Next time your child starts to whine, direct him to “take the whine out of your mouth.” Encourage him to put his hand to his mouth and make a spitting motion with his mouth.  At this point I usually ask my child to put the whine in a trash can,  throw it out the window or even drop-kick it “out of the park”.  This can also work for naughty or unkind words.

Using words
Try pretending to hand a bag of words to your child if the common phrase, “use her words,” doesn't work.  Tell her, “Pull the word please out of the word bag,” then encourage her to swallow or pretend to chew it.

Rough touch

If your child has a problem being rough with his peers, hand him imaginary “gentle touch gloves.” Help him to put the gloves on.  Similarly, “sharing gloves” can help remind a child not to grab from others.

A tactile method of child rearing will usually bring a smile to your child’s face (and yours). It engages a child’s imagination and gives the little one a physical understanding of abstract behavior concepts that are otherwise difficult for young children to grasp.

Discipling and redirecting children is not the fun part of parenting.  However, engaging a child tactily can help elevate some stress and provide the child with tools for success.  And that deserves a big Woo-Hoo!

Potty Training: There's an App for That!

Potty training: There’s an app for that.  Several apps to be exact, ranging in price and content.  For instance, Elmo’s Potty Time book is available as an interactive ebook for ipad and iphone and so is the renowned book, “Once Upon a Potty" for boys or girls.  

The market is saturated with products for parents ready to potty train their child.  Take a quick trip to Amazon and search  “potty seats" to see what I mean.  You can buy a custom made potty throne complete with book shelves and a toilet paper roll holder in queen or king style. There are port-a-potty seats and seats for the youngest of babies.

Parents have plenty of motivating factors that drive them to begin potty training their child. The cost of diapers, big boy poops and diaper rashes are just a few off the top of my head.  Whatever your reason for wanting to potty train your child, you are not alone.

Sadly however, it is not the parent who needs the motivation in this endeavor.  No matter how much we plead, beg or bribe, we parents cannot force our child to go potty. If they are not ready for it, we will have to accept that.  

Desire to use the toilet has nothing to do with developmental readiness, or cognitive skills.  You may have a completely independent and capable preschooler with fantastic verbal skills who considers the potty an interruption of her play time. Or, you may have a 1 year old who watches older siblings and insists that he no longer has need of a diaper, but does not understand why he's wet when he pees in underwear.  If you have concerns that your child's potty training motivation is not age appropriate, by all means, ask your pediatrician.  Most likely, you will be told, “some kids want to use it, others don’t.”  

Yes, there are lengthy debates over rewarding children for using the potty and what age is appropriate to introduce the toilet.  I wish I could hand you the perfect answer in this short blog post.  However, if I knew the secret that made all children want to use the bathroom instead of a diaper, I would be a millionaire.  The only advice I can give is what my grandmother passed on to my mom, “Hardly anyone walks down the aisle not knowing how to use the toilet.”  

With that in mind, be supportive of your child’s accomplishments, and don’t get to disappointed over the accidents.  Make the potty as cool and as exciting as you can possibly make it.  Read plenty of books and yes, even apps, about the potty and be sure to talk about it when you can.  Eventually, your child will become motivated to use the toilet consistently and when he does, be sure to give him a big Woo-Hoo from his friends at KinderJam!

AuthorJam: Beatrix Potter

The Tale of Peter Rabbit is arguably the most recognized children’s book of all time.  Beatrix Potter’s illustrations of a well dressed, mischievious rabbit has been loved by genrations of children since it’s first publication in 1902.  The story still holds the attention of young readers and the high vocabulary and sentence structure found in Potter’s books is hard to come by in children’s literature these days.

Beatrix Potter published 23 books made for young children.  Jemimma Puddle Duck, Tom Kitten, Benjamin Bunny and Squirrel Nutkin are just a few delightful characters in Potter’s collection. A website dedicated to her work: http://www.peterrabbit.com/us, is currently celebrating 110 years of Peter Rabbit.  The website is a fantastic resoures for children of all ages and includes games, printable coloring sheets, a timeline of Beatrix Potter’s extrodinary life and information on the new ebook, The Further Tales of Peter Rabbit (coming on September 18).

Search iTunes to find a handful of apps involving the naughty bunny and his associates.  You will  find that PopOut! The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Loud Crow Interactive Inc. is a pricey but precious ebook for ipad and iphone.  In the app, the story is read out loud, while your youngster can play with the illustrations, pulling tabs to see the picture move and tapping on characters to watch them wiggle. Another company, Poppin Games, LLC is offering their normally $2.99 app for free as a promotion to celebrate the 600,000 download until September 30. This app features the story of Peter Rabbit as well as games. A free ebook of The Tale of Tom Kitten is available as well as the Tale of Ms. Moppet. 

As a centry of classic tales enters into the cyber world of apps and downloads, be sure to take time with your child to introduce Potter’s beloved characters.  Be it ebook or the old fashioned paper kind, you can share a part of your childhood with the next generation through reading.  Who knows, given enough practice, your child can introduce the Peter Rabbit app to Grandma! 

Chore Jam

During my husband’s first deployment, it took about 2 days of listening to my kids say things like, “Mommy, you're vacuuming too loud. I can’t hear the TV,” before I created our first chore chart.  I have tried numerous types of charts, rewards and consequences since that first I’ve-had-enough moment, changing the system to adjust to my growing children and our family’s needs.

Even if you have very young children, pitching in around the house is an important lesson for kids to learn. If your child can walk and understand simple sentences, then he can throw trash away.  When milk is spilled, hand your toddler a towel and encourage her to help wipe it up.  Keep a spray bottle filled with water or home made cleaning solution so your 2 1/2 year old can wipe down the table after meals.  Teach your preschoolers how to fold towels and allow her to help with the laundry.  You will be able to judge what your child can do and what type of chores you are willing relinquish control over.  As I had to explain to my husband when he got back from deployment, “If you can’t find where the forks are, it’s because our 5 year old empties the dishwasher now.”

 If your child is having difficulty completing a chore you have given her, make sure the task is age appropriate, and that you have properly explained how to do it.  Some complaining is natural, because rarely does anyone want to do chores.  After  establishing a chore system where every child has something to do, eventually the complaining should subside. If whining does not demising in time you can add “complete chores without whining” as part of a reward system.  

Check out these ideas for chore systems:

Make a chore book for each child.

Make a list of chores with money amounts for children to earn.

Let your child pick a chore from the jar. That way you're not nagging them to do it, the jar is.

Buy a wipe board chore chart or make one of your own.

Children who do chores are independent, responsible and better citizens.  It might not be something they like to do, but it is something that they will benefit from.  Completing chores goes beyond kindergarten readiness skills, they prepare your child for real world tasks through out their lives.

BabyWearing in KinderJam

Everywhere I go, more and more parents are using baby carriers; at the grocery store, at the playground, even during KinderJam classes. Especially for parents of more than one child, carriers help mom or dad keep up with their toddler or preschooler while still tending to the needs of baby. The use of Baby Carriers, or “Baby Wearing” has been making parent's lives easier for generations, and is making a triumphant return to mainstream America.  

There are many benefits to Baby Wearing.  Strollers can be clumsy, especially if you live in a city or frequent rough terrain areas like cross country hiking or the beach.  Many babies enjoy being held, however this can cause muscle fatigue for parents.  Although your oldest may love her baby sister, toddlers do not always have an appropriate sense of safety, making mommy or daddy's arms the safest spot in the house for baby.  There is research that suggests Baby Wearing supports bonding between parent and baby, and that small infants will feel more comfortable closer to Mommy’s heart beat during the first few month of life.

A google search for Baby Wearing, or Baby Carriers, will lend an overwhelming amount of information, both mainstream and not so mainstream.  Some sites are so dedicated to Baby Wearing, they leave the average parent feeling guilty for owning a stroller at all.  There is also an eclectic collection of baby carriers on the market, ranging in price, weight restriction and ways to hold baby.  

If you are new to carriers or the concept of Baby Wearing, check out BabyWearing International as a good resource to help you find the carrier that is right for you.  This information should help explain why some carriers are so much more expensive than others, why some carriers can be used on the front and back, and help you decide what types are best for you. 

 For instance, consider the simple diagram above when selecting a carrier to maximize your child's comfort and support.  As you can see, the carrier on the right supports baby's hips, simulating the "sitting on hips" position that many parents use naturally.  The carrier on the left, may be less expensive, but will not be as comfortable for baby,  diminishing your caring experience and may increase fussiness in baby.

If you choose BabyWearing or just holding your baby in arms, be sure to enjoy this time you have with your little one.  Give as many smiles and kisses as you can because soon enough he will be Jammin on his own!